I felt like I had zero agency over my own life. 

I was told exactly what to do, what to wear, what to think. It was drilled into me that I absolutely “must” study Medicine - something I knew right from the start wasn’t for me and that I’d hate it. And when I instead did Biochemistry, even after I graduated with a First Class Honours I still felt like my family thought I was a disappointment because I didn’t do Medicine like they wanted. Like the golden child that they poured all their energy into and placed all their hopes on to be what they thought was the “best of the best” didn’t fulfil their expectations. 

I was also told that the kind of clothes I liked to wear were “too tight”, “showy” and “immodest” whenever I wore something tighter than a bin liner, that I should cover up and not show my figure, that getting attention for my looks was “bad” and what “street workers” do. That parties and dating were not allowed. 

Certain things that my mum would be more lenient about, my uncles used to feed sh*t in her ears which influenced her to get overly strict about, because she was scared people would think she didn’t bring her kids up properly if she was “too soft” on us. 

Rebellion, Perfectionism, Masking My True Self

I did allllll of it behind their backs and got really f*cking good at creating the best cover stories (there were a lot of fake after school revision sessions, rehearsals and school trip letters lol). 

Although I didn’t go so far as to f*ck my life up and I still got the best grades, stayed healthy, took care of myself, built skills I thought I’d need, made money, all the externally “successful” things.

I got really good at being the “good girl” who was never really herself. I kept whole parts of myself hidden. I rebelled but I felt like I was always hiding parts of myself just to fit into a mould that was never really *me*.

And because I never truly knew me, I didn’t truly love me. How could I when I didn’t let myself peel back the masks to see who was really there? 

I’m not talking about the surface level self-care-days and feel-good-affirmations kind of self-love; I mean real, unconditional self-acceptance - the kind that makes you feel at home in your body. The kind that makes you glow from the inside out because you’re not performing for anyone anymore. The kind that makes you walk into a room and turn heads, not because of what you're wearing, but because of the way you carry yourself.

And that pattern also showed up in my romantic life. 

I always attracted men who pursued and took care of me, but with whom I had to conform to their idea of what a "good girl" was and couldn't have different opinions and preferences on how I choose to live my life. And like disagreeing with them meant risking getting shouted at and feeling like someone stuck a knife in my intestines, and so anything I disagreed with I’d have to do behind their backs.

Whether it was with men from my culture who were all like “I don’t like when girls dress like that” and “my sisters wear skirts but they’re always below a certain length and they wear tights with them” and “I could never be with someone who drinks”, or other men that were like “I expect communication every single day” and sulk when I didn’t reply to them quickly or tell them where I was all the time - I always felt like I had to hide whole parts of myself or go along with something just to keep the peace.

The Story That Kept Me Stuck

The underlying belief that kept bringing this type of man into my life? “If a man takes care of me, I have to sacrifice my freedom and conform to his expectations”.

It was the same belief that came from growing up in a family where love and care were tied to obedience. I thought masculine support meant giving up my autonomy - like I’d always have someone hovering over my decisions, questioning them, and making me justify every move.

And it wasn’t just about men; it was about my entire life. I had the degree, the achievements, the hair, the body, the wardrobe, the shoe collection, the social life - but was I actually living? Was I in love with my own life? Was I waking up every day feeling turned on by my own existence? No. I was playing the role I was given instead of creating a life that actually lit me tf up.

Eventually I had enough. Enough of being this over-achieving conflict-phobic “good girl”. Enough of feeling like it was either change myself for a man or don’t date anyone. Enough of pushing away masculine support because I associated it with feeling suffocated and like I can't go away and live my own life without having anyone to answer to. I wanted to live my life on my own terms.

Attracting The Right Men Effortlessly After Redefining Masculine Energy & Support

So I did the work: the mindset work and the deeper inner work. I started seeing masculine energy for what it truly is: safety within which freedom could flow. I realised I could receive care, support and affection while still being me. I could be the woman who made her own choices, who lived her own truth unapologetically and was fully supported in it.

I worked on me. On building a life that turned me on. On feeling delicious in my own skin, no matter what I was wearing or who I was around. On radiating a kind of self-assurance that made people sit up and notice when I walked into a room.

When I shifted out of associating masculine care with restriction and instead anchored into my ability to receive while maintaining my agency, the next man that started pursuing me was someone who deeply valued my independence and honoured my individuality while still showing up as a provider. He did the pursuing, the planning and the providing, made me feel cherished without trying to mould me into his ideal woman, and gave me space to be fully myself without conditions. He had a secure, grounded masculine energy that felt like freedom rather than control, and I felt like I was fully adored in his presence, like I could receive his care while still being my own woman, without needing to shrink, justify or compromise who I was.

And the best part? I didn’t just attract one of these high-caliber men. I started attracting multiple of them. Men who pursued, planned and provided, but who never made me feel like I had to dim my light. They treated me like a queen, without trying to turn me into someone I wasn’t.

The True Source of Feminine Magnetism

That radiance, that glow and that magnetism - it wasn’t even about the men. It was about me. About fully embodying the kind of woman who turns heads, commands devotion and natural attracts opportunities - without proving or overworking for it. The premium treatment from men were a delicious side effect of me being in love with myself and obsessed with my own life.

This is the ultimate position to be in - being in love with your own life. Waking up every day turned on by your own existence, whether you have a man beside you or not. It’s about feeling so whole, glowing, vibrant and magnetic in your own skin that the right men, the right opportunities, the right experiences - all flow to you effortlessly.

Your life should be the main event, not a man.

Because true magnetism isn’t about a strategy. It’s not about playing games or following a formula to “get” a man.

It’s about becoming the kind of woman who is so deeply in love with herself, so anchored in her own radiance, so lit up by the life she’s built, that the entire world starts moving differently around her.

🔥 The kind of woman who is courted, adored and pursued effortlessly

🔥 The kind of woman whose presence lingers, whose energy is unforgettable

🔥 The kind of woman who walks into a room and commands attention - not because she’s trying, but because her energy is compelling and undeniable

This is my zone of genius. Not just helping you attract high-quality men who cherish and pursue you, but helping you step into your most magnetic, radiant, deeply turned-on self - so that your entire life feels like a dream you don’t want to wake up from.

Because a man should never be the thing that makes your life exciting. Your life should already be so deliciously fulfilling that a man is just the cherry on top.

Step into your most magnetic, radiant self

If you’re ready to experience this level of self-love, radiance and feminine magnetism - whether in dating or just the way you move through the world - I’d love to guide you.

Get in touch and let’s talk about stepping into that version of you. 💖